This weekend I went to @gritsandbiscuits in #clt.
I was excited to re-live my experience from about eight years ago when I went in #atl with several friends.
I hoped to sing and dance the week's stress away for a few hours. When I’d gone previously, the DJ played the best of the 90s; I barely had a chance to catch my breath between songs. It was lit!
That wasn’t my experience this weekend.
SN: This is not a diss to @gritsandbiscuits. This is about me realizing how my life has changed.
Anywho, I felt out of place. I felt like the old lady in the club partly because everyone around me was 10 years younger than me, and the songs that were being played were from the early 2000s - a whole decade later from the songs that made up the soundtrack of some of the best years of my life.
I left early, but while there, I looked around at other #Blackwomen, silently judging them for their fashion and life choices. And let’s be clear … I didn’t know their lives, but I made assumptions about them based on what I saw.
The next morning, I woke up ashamed. How can I be committed to uplifting the magic of Black women and helping them be their best selves while simultaneously tearing them down?
Although they didn’t know I was judging them, I was, and I felt like a fraud.
As I drove to brunch the next morning, I became curious about why I had such a mean girl spirit. I realized that the experience at Grits and Biscuits was tap dancing on my insecurities about getting older, not having a partner, and not having more age-appropriate options for a fun night out.
This observation feels right, but I will sit with it for a few days to ensure all is well with my soul. Check out my blog post on how to Get Curious to understand better why this is important.
Once I figure this out, I will dig into how to address the root cause of my mean-girl spirit. Being a mean girl doesn’t align with who I want to be or what I want for my life … so I will change it.
I’d love to hear your thoughts - and I encourage you to register for my Get Curious list so you can be the first to know about my free masterclass to learn how to Get Curious to help you live the life that aligns with your authentic self.